This quote from Jim Gordon in the very first episode of Gotham to Bruce Wayne, it has resonated with me throughout these last few months. These months have been some of the toughest emotionally and mentally for me in my entire life and I know moving forward things are going to get a lot more painful and a lot harder and that nothing will ever be the same again – like how things were before my father’s diagnosis – but as cold as it might sound to write, that’s life. It can give you some of the most wonderful moments but there will always be painful moments as well. If everything was good all the time then well, those happy moments would not matter as much as they do.
There are many ways people cope with a hard situation and I will admit I am not a person without my vices. When the news hit last year I bottled everything up for a long time and for a time I was drinking at night time to ‘take the edge off’ as I was telling myself. Just a couple of drinks in the evening to help me sleep, to numb me from what was going on around me.
This only lasted a week, because all this did was make me feel miserable and I needed to be strong for those around me and when I stood back and was honest with myself I came to realize I was becoming someone I did not want to be. I needed a distraction so I chose a show I knew I liked on Netflix and I binged it once again. I was already a fan of Gotham before all this stuff with my family began, but this time upon viewing the show, I latched onto something I did not before and to put it bluntly Gotham over the last few months has become an obsession that has kept me going.
I have been part of countless fandoms over the years, some good and admittedly a lot of them bad – and I mean bad to the point where I am a fan of the show, but refuse to have anything to do with the fandom side of things (Hannibal being a big one for this), but Gotham’s fandom is one of the most welcoming and friendliest fandoms I have ever been a part of. Even the shipping side of things is very civil, heck I have even made friends within the fandom that have helped me through these past couple of months.
There is something about the world of this show that dragged me and so many others in. It’s stories though fantastical still have a grounded reality in them that has kept me hooked. So I just want to say a big thank you to the creators, cast and staff behind Gotham and and even bigger thank you to the amazing fan community around this show.