Cancer, The Ugliest of Words


To my loyal followers, readers and friends within the blogging community I want to thank you all for being patient and supportive with the little work I have posted the last couple of months here on the blog and given a change in circumstances this week and I am now free to discuss what has been going on.

First a little back story on my home situation, I still live at home with my parents and my brother, this has mostly been because of a lack of finances to move out on my own and my difficulty in finding permanent full-time work. Because I have lived at home for so long in my adult life I have grown a strong bond and relationship with both my parents. My mother is one of the most reliable and caring people I know and the same can be said about my father who is the kind of person who would drop everything if he had the time to and help a friend in need. Over the last few years, however, since retiring from being a radiator repairer my father’s health has slowly declined.

For most of last year he was in a lot of pain that slowly grew worse, and at first, we all thought he had taken a fall and not told anyone about it. He is a stubborn man my father you see and rarely asks for help. Early October last year my dad had some scans done on his shoulder. At worse, we were expecting a break that did not heal properly and that was the cause of the pain. Oh, how I wish that had been the case. They found a tumor in my dad’s shoulder, wrapped around the bone and he had to have a shoulder replacement. The tumor was cancerous. My dad was diagnosed with cancer.

The year before last we had a cancer scare in the family with my grandfather and he got treatment and got better. So in the back of my mind, I was like we can fight this with dad, we will all help him to get better. I was worried about my dad all through November but I was also positive he would fight this and get better. But as more and more doctors appointments happened, more tests they did the news just kept getting worse and worse.

In December my dad had the op on his shoulder and while he was in the hospital I heard my mum talking about my father needing Palliative Care when he comes out of the hospital. Palliative Care for those who don’t know is the care someone gets when they do not have long to live. It is special care for the dying.

My father has a very aggressive form of skin cancer, that is now in his blood and to make matters more difficult it is an extremely rare form of cancer which means the doctors do not know how long he has left.

This news has taken quite a toll on me and my family especially when it comes to all our mental health. Especially myself who over the years have had great struggles with mental health. I am writing this post not to look for sympathy in my situation but because this is something I need to talk about. This is why I have been so sporadic with my blogging the last few months and I honestly do not know when or if the blogging schedule will ever be back to normal at this point.

I want to once again thank all the wonderful people I have met through the years of blogging on here! Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read this post.

Aarinfantasy Needs Help From the Yaoi Community!


If you have been a part of the online yaoi and boys love community for any amount of time, the name Aarinfantasy will have been noticed or mentioned. The Aarinfantasy forums are one of the biggest gathering places for yaoi fans on the net as well as one of the oldest yaoi communities around.

Earlier today on the sites official Facebook page a plea for help from it’s users went out to help save the site from closure. The following was posted.

Dear all,

It took me some time to write this as I want to do this properly but a sad situation is happening… so please hear me out.

The forum is in need of funds to keep it going, otherwise it will be facing closure.

Most of you may not know but the forum has always been funded mainly because of a single person from the forum (let’s call this person “KK”) on each month without fail for many years. KK has always wanted to share the forum joy with everyone through donating to keep it going but unfortunately KK has stopped donating 3 months ago and can no longer donate any more. I felt KK has done more than enough and I will always be eternally grateful to KK for all the contributions. It is unfair to mainly rely on KK to always fill in the gap, though the forum also has a few regular donors whom I am also grateful to as well. While I do make a small profit from my online BL shop, it is unable to cover the forum fund monthly. Previously, I mostly used these profits from my shop for sponsoring BL events and also giveaways/contest prizes… as a give back for yaoi fans.

Therefore, I am now making a donation drive called “Save AarinFantasy Forum” drive to help keep the forum going. You can donate any amount or as how you can.
All donations amount and donor’s initial details (only initials email will be shown to know that you’re the one who donated that amount) will be put out for transparency purposes at the forum here:…/t199045-save-aarinfantasy-forum.…

There are two options:
– SUBSCRIBE (monthly donation, $1, $3, $5,$10 or $20 option)
– KO-FI (single or monthly donation, in units of $2)

Donating via

The SUBSCRIBE option is a monthly donation that will charge $1, $3, $5, $10 or $20 each month from the day you donated automatically. It is safer to say that SUBSCRIBE can allow me to plan ahead for anything involving the site and at least know what’s in for next month without having to worry if next month’s donation can be achieved. If there are decent amount of subscribers, I would like to setup special perks like extra forum points each month or forum cards making or any nice bonuses that I will think of, and I will be fair for that like for example $10 subscriber will receive more compared to $1 subscriber.

Steps to donate:
– Go to page and scroll down till you see the DONATE and SUBSCRIBE buttons.
– Choose either Donate (one time donation, any amount) or Subscribe (monthly donation, choose between $1, $3, $5, $10 or $20).
– At the donation page, please write your forum username on the message box. If you forgot, it’s fine, I will contact you through your email you used.

Donating via
I setup a page for more ease of use and where I can show the donation goal easily.
The total donation you made at Ko-fi will be added up together with the other donation total towards the monthly goal.
You can donate one time or monthly at units of $2 which means you can donate $2, $4, $6 or any even numbers. You don’t need to sign up as a ko-fi member to donate for one-time donation but signing up is free.

Steps to donate:
– Go to
– Choose the type and amount you want to donate
– Please write your forum username and any message at the text message box on the page, please set it to Private Message if you don’t want others to know your username.
– NOTE: “Buy a Yaoi for AarinFantasy” is just a cute way of Ko-fi saying Donate.


For now, I will be using my own money to fund the forum for the previous 3 months (Dec 2018 till Feb 2019) and this donation drive will start funding for March 2019 onwards. Sorry, I don’t think I can fund more than 3 months on my own.

The forum is on its 15th year now and I do hope the forum has a few more years to come (even if it’s a few short years), but at this point, the future of it is unknown. KK and I do hope that with some faith, this drive can pull through and get the site going. It has been a home for many people over the years though trends are moving on to social media and I do keep up at social media too, but it will always be nice to have the forum to be there.

For anyone that asks about how the fund goes, it goes to the website servers, download bandwidths charges, domains (AarinFantasy and AarinSecret), backup server, fansub team server, maintenance, certain fansub projects, and random projects or activities like the AarinSecret magazine which I may be bringing back due to overwhelming encouragement for a next one.

If you like my content and site, please consider supporting what I do. I hope to continue with the forum site and do more for everyone who enjoys yaoi and BL.

Thank you for all your support.

Please share this if you can to any yaoi or BL fans out there.

It can definitely make a difference if everyone can donate just a little bit.

I myself have already donated via their Ko-fi and am making this post to help with the drive for donations. Aarinfnantasy is a very important community for me and many other yaoi fans around the world, more so again in recent months due to all the crap that went down with Tumblr. If you can please donate and also share this post with any yaoi or boys love fans you know!

Doukyuusei – Boys Love Review


Falling in love is the easy part, maintaining and keeping the relationship, that is where the real challenge lies. First loves can be messy and cumbersome affairs of the heart and they can be even more complicated when they happen within our teen years. Hormones racing us forward towards the cusp of adulthood and not quite yet knowing ourselves or our place in the world. It is indeed a stressful crossroads we all find ourselves at and for the characters within Doukyuusei they must decide whether they will move through this emotional minefield together and work out whether this is just a flurry of emotions or if there is something worth keeping hold of into the future and if so, how they will keep hold of it.

I wanted to post something special this year for Valentines Day so I went through my backlog of boys love anime I have to review here on the Playground and thought what is the most romantic story I can find here? The choice became obvious very quickly that for the pure feels of Valentines Day I could not go past Doukyuusei a stunningly animated anime movie with a run time just over an hour, though with all the emotion they put into the story it does not need to be any longer than what it is.

Telling the story of quiet honor student Rihito Sajou and the wear his emotions on his sleeve rebel Hikaru Kusakabe they are classmates whose paths never really would have crossed even if they did share the same class. One day however after accidentally leaving his bento box in his desk Kusakabe finds Sajou practicing his singing for the upcoming choir event at the school. Thing is during the class when they were practicing together as a class Kusakabe noticed Sajou was not singing along with everyone else. After a brief discussion, it is revealed that Sajou could not see the board at the front of the class because of bad eyesight and he did not want to ask to be moved to the front of the class because he did not want to be a bother to the teacher. Kusakabe offers to help Sajou with his singing and in doing so the two slowly become friends, then something more begins to happen between the two.

What I love about the story of this movie is that the relationship between the two leads feels incredibly real and this is because neither character in this story fits into an anime stereotype or trope for the genre of BL. Both characters had lives and personalities before meeting each other and through being around each other they learn more about themselves. They come face to face with their own insecurities, what they want out of life and ask the question, do my priorities in life change now that I am in this relationship? Which is a surprisingly mature theme to see explored with characters of this age.

If you have got some time to spare this Valentines Day or are just looking for a sweet romantic anime to watch at any time of the year then this modern Boys Love classic is a must watch!

Knight of Alanoc – Comic Review


I am so pleased to be able to cover another work by the lovely Aero Zero here on Yaoi Playground. As you guys may remember, during last year’s Pride Month I covered there comic Men Plus Monsters and I have been meaning to cover one of their other amazing comics, Ace of Beast for a while now and that review is coming I promise. Today’s review, however, is a prequel to the comic Ace of Beasts recently released called Knight of Alanoc which is available for purchase on the creators site and if you are a fan of buff bara men who are also the most adorable men you will ever see then you need to check out this amazing comic!

Being a prequel to Ace of Beast you do not have to read the previous work to follow this story which tells of the meeting of two of the main characters from Ace of Beast, that being the ruthless lieutenant Osric, who has had no luck when it comes to love and so has recently decided to give up on the idea of love until a mysterious swordsman Xerxes, comes into his life. This is a slow burn romance that will tug at your heart with just how adorable these two are.

My first impression of this prequel comic? This is the most adorable comic I have read in a long time and I do mean adorable! Seriously Aero Zero has really outdone themselves with the character designs of the men in this one. All the characters especially the two main characters come across as tough amazing men, but they have the most adorable sweet side that just makes me swoon. I just love this mix of adorable cuteness and big tough men, it’s cute without losing any masculinity and I know for some this might seem hard to believe but it is true!

Seriously could these two lovebirds be any more adorable?

The story of the comic as I wrote is very sweet, heartwarming and surprisingly SFW for Aero Zero’s work… until you get to the amazing epilogue which contains my favorite kind of swordplay if you catch my drift. Overall this is one amazing comic that if you are a fan of bara with a sweet side you owe it to yourself to check out this comic!